The Show That Changed Everything

Christmas bells are ringing, christmas bells are ringing…ah, the holidays. As I settle into the rhythm of the season, I’ve been enjoying a little downtime in between projects. Catching up with friends and establishing a regular exercise schedule has been a welcome change from the frenetic pace I’ve endured the past two months. It’s important that I properly relish this time, because before I know it, I’ll be running on all cylinders again. Thankfully, my looser schedule allowed me to attend a cast meeting organized by the director of my next stage production, which just so happens to be RENT, a show I am no stranger to.

RENT was the first show I saw after I began my passionate relationship with musical theater, it was the show that motivated me to pursue a career on stage, and it will be one of the last productions I do before moving to New York. This entry is my love letter to the show that changed everything.

My love for RENT began, like many of my co-horts, in high school. I had heard of RENT before, and vividly remember seeing TV advertisements for the touring company when it had gone through San Francisco in ’99. The actors in the commercial seemed so young, so COOL – things I had never associated musical theater with. I remember hearing the harmony at the end of the commercial, as the cast sang “no day but today,” and feeling mesmerized. Theater was a late discovery for me, and even having been intrigued by the commercial, it wasn’t until a year later, when I was cast in a musical revue through choir, that I was introduced to the music first-hand. Like every high school choir does at some point in their existence, we sang “Seasons of Love” as our finale. Not long after, I was tearing through a plastic wrapper to get to the two-disc set I purchased at Sam Goody (remember that place?).

I put the CD in and started from the beginning – the soaring vocals at the end of the title number ignited my heart, but it wasn’t until the following track, “You Okay Honey?,” that I really perked up. Hearing Wilson Jermaine Heredia’s voice navigating those lyrics instantenously grabbed onto something inside of me and didn’t let go. I became obsessed. “I’ll Cover You” became my all-time favorite love duet. I memorized every rhythm, every word, and every note. Those two discs didn’t leave the CD player of my ’92 Civic hatchback for probably a year straight.

By the time I saw RENT in person, I had barely begun my foray onto the stage. See, I spent a lot of high school not understanding where I fit in, what I was reaching for, or what purpose I would serve as a participant in life. My high school years were not an idyllic time for me, but after the revue that had introduced me to “Seasons of Love,” I became involved with the Children’s Musical Theatre of San Jose and done my first full production – Hello, Dolly! It was a wonderful experience – the rush of the audience in front of me, the collaborative process of putting a show togehter – I felt like I was doing something important, something bigger than me, and something that I cared about. To finally be accepted so readily and lovingly by a group was new to me, and it felt good to be recognized and respected for my talent, and to feel like I (at the risk of sounding cliche) fit in.

When I heard the tour was coming through San Francisco yet again, I knew this was my chance – I had to experience this groundbreaking show first-hand. I was thrilled to hear that the option of rush tickets were available. This was a concept that had been introduced in the New York production, where the first two rows of seats were reserved and sold two hours before curtain for only $20 a piece – it offered a consistent opportunity for students and artists to see a blockbuster show without breaking the bank. Naturally, at the age of 17, I didn’t have a whole lot of extra skrilla hangin’ around, so I headed to the Orpheum Theatre during the Summer of 2001 to see my first production of RENT. My then-boyfriend went with me to wait for rush tickets at 9 AM, and we gladly waited in front of the theater for hours, until we had those hot little babies in our hands.

Being front row for this production was absolutely mind-blowing, and was a far cry from the classic tone of Hello, Dolly! The bombastic energy that came from the stage was astounding, and the subject matter or addiction and AIDS, same-sex relationships and artistic integrity, were topics I had never imagined to be at the center of a Broadway musical. It was speaking about young people, to young people, BY young people. I was ecstatic during intermission, but it was at the beginning of the second act where the show carved itself into me permanently. As the actors walked out to the first few iconic piano chords and took their places, they began singing “Seasons of Love.” Under the original direction, this is the one moment of the show where the actors drop character and share this time on stage with the audience – they are permitted to make eye contact and interact with the audience. Many of the actors locked eyes with and smiled at me, noticing me sitting there awe-struck, silently mouthing the words to myself. All of a sudden, my face was wet with tears streaming from my eyes.

“This is it,” I thought to myself. “This is what I’m going to do for the rest of my life.”

I saw the Benny Tour at the Orpheum a total of four times, bringing various friends with me for the experience. The show continued to thrive for several years on Broadway, closing in 2008 after running for twelve years at the Nederlander Theatre. Shortly thereafter, the rights were released for regional and community theater companies to produce the show. It had been over eight years since I had first seen the production, and the soundtrack had made it’s way to the back of my CD book, behind Britney Spears and Jason Mraz albums. Regardless, when I saw an audition posting for a local company in downtown San Jose, I knew I had to go in. Although I was called back for three parts, being six feet tall and 180 pounds, I figured my athletic stature would ultimately rule me out from playing Angel, and I banked on the idea of landing Roger or Mark. When I showed up and signed in on the final callback sheet, I noticed I was the only actor called back for Angel. I was offered the part that night, and was told they knew from the second I walked into my first audition that they had found the right actor for the part.

Angel is an incredible, iconic character in musical theater. He serves as the emotional centerpiece of the show, and really carries the entire message of the play within himself. His being afflicted with AIDS never dampens his spirit, or ruins his quality of life – the perfect example of “living with, not dying from, disease.” His selflessness and generosity, despite the fact that he has a life-threatening illness and lives on the streets, are character traits I personally have always striven to maintain. It became my job to project the message of love and acceptance that Jonathan Larson had lain underneath themes of drug-addiction, disease, and depression. The amazing thing is, finding Angel never felt like work – it felt effortless, like it was something I was meant to do, he’s someone who has always been inside of me. The reviews that began coming in were overwhelming – while it was not without flaw, my performance seemed to be resonating positively with many of our critics, and I was flattered and exhilerated by their kind words. I began to think about pursuing theater more aggressively with their generous support.

My experience with the City Lights Theater Company’s 2010 production of RENT was life-changing, emotional, and at times, very difficult – we suffered from some very unique problems. We had two actors drop the production; one after the first rehearsal, and the other during tech week. We had a principal actor no-show on a tech rehearsal. I came down with a horrible case of laryngitis that rendered my voice useless for two performances, and I had no understudy. And, while I pride myself on the ability to work easily with actors of any ego or ability level, it took some serious work to maintain my cool with the actor I had to work closest with (see no-show above). Regardless of these issues, the common link between all of us was a very strong love for this piece and it’s message. Before every show, we would meet backstage and bounce our energy off of one another, and remind each other that our job for the evening was to tell the story. After every show, I was astounded with the audience’s response. RENT is the kind of show that profoundly touches people – I had many people approach me in tears, sharing their stories of loss and thanking me for sharing this story. Although I don’t see my castmates from this production as regularly as I would like to, I know we all unanimously have a great amount of love for one another. I will never forget running offstage and into the lobby after bows and we all circled into a giant group hug before the audience began to pour out of the theater for us to greet. Spencer Williams, who played our Mark, said it best, “This has been a dream of mine for a long time. Thank you all for making it come true.”

After that production of RENT, I made the decision to become a professional actor.

Two years later, I have an Equity card in my wallet, an acceptance notice for Summer conservatory at CAP21, and am shipping my life and career out to NYC in June. The time in my life is right for me to stand on the precipice and jump into my life’s calling, focus on what I love, and pursue the truly blissful prospect of creating a living for myself through my passion. It only seems appropriate that RENT will touch my heart once more, before I leave behind the place I’ve called home my entire life.

The other evening, I had the pleasure of meeting the majority my new cast. In the spirit of Jonathan Larson, who created and wrote RENT, our director arranged for us to have a “Peasant’s Feast,” a potluck tradition Jonathan would host for his starving-artist friends who couldn’t afford to go home for the holidays. As we settled in, sampling each other’s delicious offerings, we gathered in a circle to do introductions. Each of us said our name and the character we will be playing, and then we were to share some experience we’ve had in relation to the show. I was one of the first few to share. RENT has been an extremely pivotal piece of my life, and has proven to be a driving force behind many of my new castmates as well. As the sharing continued, it astounded me to hear how important this show still is to so many others, seventeen years after it opened on Broadway.

Later in the night, we gathered around the piano and learned “Seasons of Love” as a group, for the first time. I sat on the floor, letting the music and voices fill my body, and got lost in the freedom of the song. After we had our parts organized, our director asked us to stand in a circle, close enough that our shoulders were touching, and had us sing the song again. In it’s wonderful, magic sort of way, the music drew forth tears all around, and by the end of the song, everyone was holding hands and crying. The experience brought everyone’s guard down and established a safe environment among one another to be free, make bold choices, and to tell the story through love. I am absolutely overjoyed and grateful for the opportunity to take this journey again, and couldn’t think of a better “bon voyage” as I make the exhilerating, terrifying transfer to New York for the next major chapter in my life.

But, hey, no day but today, right?